If you google search “resolution revolution,” you’ll find this SNL video. https://youtu.be/8hjCIHVdcmY It’s pretty great. It’s a bit dirty… if that kind of thing bothers you. But, it’s great. Why is it great? Well, it’s funny because it points out a pathetic truth about humanity. We like to resolve ourselves that we will be better… ever aiming for perfection. We usually fail. Like, always.
Every new year when people ask me what my resolutions are, I roll my eyes in their face, and yell… (okay, not really) that resolutions are dumb. Mine have always been simple: Don’t make any. Be the best me. Know I’ll screw up, but try my best.
But, how do I know what I want to be “my best me” if I don’t think about what I want? How can I pursue the future I want if I don’t think about it? I mean, I know that bad stuff can happen and what I hope for can disappear because of my own foolishness or the obvious reality that life can be painful. I think I’ve always been slightly tentative to claim what I want, though, thinking maybe if I say it (especially in the form of a resolution) and it doesn’t happen somehow I look like a fool, or I have my “heart broken” by life… so, where does that leave me now?
(You’re chanting, “Please gurl, don’t tell me that you have made a list of resolutions and you’re going to write about them in your blog!!!” Fear not. None of that here. Just me, being me.)
So, there’s this guy… Hahaha. A great guy. My guy. He’s a planner. He’s a goal maker. He owns his own business and is making big changes this year and he’s inspired me. He gave me a writer’s journal for Christmas. I have always journaled. Then a friend told me about bullet journals. COULD A JOURNAL BE A WAY TO MAKE MY LIFE MORE ORGANIZED, CREATIVE, AND COLOURFUL? Then I went to the store in search of a green leather bound journal. Then I bought a work journal and a life journal that are neither leather bound, nor green. Shit.
I want to change the way things were going… December at my job is always stressful, because… Christmas. I love Christmas, but I was kind of starting to hate Christmas. Though things were less stressful in some ways this year, I felt quite drawn and quartered by life, work, school, etc. I was darn close to burnout. I don’t want to burn out. I do love my job. I love my life more and more all the time. I don’t want either to get the best of me. How can I put things in order a bit and still be a flaming ENFP? Spontaneous, enthusiastic, slightly disorganized, not so detail oriented… loveable and sweet, but slightly inattentive at times. Yup. My blessing. My curse.
There’s this. I like to make lists of things I have to do at work. I like making shopping lists. I like making cleaning lists. I like crossing things off my list, or in my notes app inserting the “green tick the box” emoji. You know. You like crossing things off lists too. Guess what… that’s a bullet journal, kind of.
I can have the goal of journaling more… yeah? That’s not a resolution. That’s something that I like. Resolutions are things you SHOULD do, but don’t want to do. Rachel, the almost doctor nurse, would say, “Don’t ‘should’ on me!” But… trying to do more of the things I like, that’s not making resolutions, that’s being more me. Then I thought about how great I feel when I make it to work on time, everyday. Then I thought about how I loved doing Pilates in the mornings. Then I thought about how I can be more intentional about the choices I make at work, which ultimately define my job. I am required (in some ways) to give myself direction at work, but if I am not focused on the direction, how can I feel like I am doing my job well? Then I thought about how I used to write a ton, make jewellery, get crafty, etc. I want to do all those things.
So, I was pulled kicking and screaming (by myself) into the place where I am making goals. I’m not gonna announce to the world what they ALL are, and I am going to say that I know I will likely not succeed at all of them, but I am at least focused more on what I want. That’s a good thing.
So, guys, I challenge you. What do you WANT to do more of? Where do you want to be next new year?
Kthanksbye. That’s all (for now)
karlamarlablog 